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When the spell was broken, Charles went up to his room to think. He had come back to Milliways to tell Iris what happened and then this.

Loneliness is a terrible thing, and I would not wish it on you. Jean had said that and in that one conversation seen inside him in a way few ever had.

He was lonely, that was why he clung so to Raven and wouldn't let Erik go; he needed them and they needed each other. Erik was even starting to open up. And in this week, he had lived once more that life of loneliness and fear where he worried that he would chase anyone who was nice to him away because he said the wrong thing. Only two had turned from him, Noriko who only saw a strange rich boy and Autor who was scared though he acted as if he wasn't. There had been kindness and understanding, he would find ways to bring some of the openness of Milliways into his world.

With a quick breath, he stood up and went to the sink to splash some water on his face. He couldn't dwell too much on this week until he told Iris about what had happened before. The only way to move forward with the past and the present was with honesty.

Iris, how could he explain to her what he had done? Just the memory of that kiss and how Erik had reached for him made his heart beat faster. He wanted that but by that wanting, he betrayed Iris who he had brought onto a different path. The Fates had said You ask complicated questions. Now he had many going through his mind and it wasn't his place to answer, now he must speak the truth and take what followed.

It had been a kiss but more than that, it was a beginning, because Erik balanced him. She saw within him and he couldn't lie to her and wouldn't ask anything of her. He had acted without thinking and now would pay the price for it.

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Charles Xavier

July 2017

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