Recovery

Nov. 15th, 2015 08:53 pm
balancingminds: (breaking)
"Erik was right. All your tries at being good ended up in pain," Raven walked just in front of him through the quad, skirting being on the grass. He couldn't seem to reach her to say something before she turned a corner and was gone.

"She's braver than you, Charles. Bold and daring," He could hear satisfaction in Erik's voice and he turned to spot him leaning against a wall in the library sipping at his scotch, "We're going to out play you and win."

The words were there, he could feel them, he could speak to Erik. A scream cut the air and the world was cold and white, his gloves felt like they were stuck to his hands.


He reached for consciousness through the morphine and woke sweating. He began to sit then he felt the pain and sank down, he had his shields. Near him, Art, who'd fought at Bastogne cried out and Charles took a breath before reaching out to soothe his nightmares through the wall.

He could do that, he could help, somehow.

****


As the morning light came through the window, Janet, his nurse came through the door and sighed, "Another bad night, Mr. Xavier?"

"Am I that obvious?" Her kind eyes cut him more than he cared to admit, he'd never been good at being cared for.

She helped him sit up, adjusting his pillows and he focused on the lists she ran through her head, what he needed, her shopping for later in the day including making a delicious Jamaican chicken dish with her family, "You think a lot and that keeps you up and you don't use enough morphine."

"I don't like how it makes me feel disconnected," It was harder to keep his shields where he wanted them and he felt lonelier. Janet lifted him into his chair for the uncomfortable process of going to the bathroom.

"That's a nice thought to keep connected but good to not be in pain too. There, that's all done and I've got your breakfast. I asked around and one of my neighbors is from St. Nevis and he had some of that tea you like. Now you can wake up with that English Breakfast you like so much without your friends having to sneak any into you. We wouldn't want any of those nice boys to get in trouble with the hospital. I keep expecting that boy Alex to bolt any time he comes near your room," The image of the neighbor and the smell of proper tea helped him relax as much as he could with all he couldn't feel and everything that was too much.

"Me too, that's why I remind him that he doesn't have to come as often," She set his tray in front of him with a fond smile.

"They care and I saw another visitor for you, Miss McTaggert on the list for today. So take your time with your breakfast and I'll find you a better mirror to get you looking your best for her," Janet looked him over, he liked how she saw him as someone who was nice and polite who didn't make her days too long. Then she turned and left to check on everyone else on the hall.

Breakfast was always hit or miss, but having actual proper tea made the bland porridge, odd eggs and today the spongy toast easier to enjoy. From what Moira had said at her prior visit, this was probably going to be the last time she saw him here as she had to return to the CIA where many questions waited for her. He knew that she would find ways to check in but it would be best if there was as much plausible deniability on her side. Enough people had been hurt by their well meaning attempts, she didn't need her career harmed any more.

****


When Moira arrived, his hair was combed and he was reading the day's papers and only wincing at some of the motions of turning the paper.

"Hello, Charles," Her voice was tight and as he folded the pages felt her worry for him and scenes of conference rooms.

"Good afternoon, Moira. Thank you for visiting me," He kept his voice calm, he didn't want to add anything more to her thought, "I've been thinking of how we might find a smooth ending for you. They already know some of what I can do, take advantage of that."

"I'm to tell them that you manipulated me? I don't know if they'd believe that of you," Her memory of his kindness to the hurt agents at the Facility's destruction and in Russia was in many reports. Those men wouldn't forget how he soothed the men that Erik took down.

"I trust your judgement. I'd rather not take anything from you unless you ask me to," That would be safer for all of them, but would betray the trust she placed in him.

"No, I know how to make them think you did and not ask anymore. Men can be very predictable," She smirked, thinking of how so many men including him underestimated her and few of them learned their lesson.

"Yes, we can," Moira sat down beside his bed and didn't speak for a time, reading the paper with him for almost an hour before standing up. It was quiet and comfortable, he had never done exactly this with either Raven or Erik. Raven had always been moving as he read the paper while Erik discussed what felt like almost every article with him.

As she turned to leave she thought at him; I'm sorry that they're gone, but I trust in what you can do.

He nodded and leaned back against his bed, he was tired and scared. This wasn't a place that he could stop, only rest and plan. He was needed.
balancingminds: (confused with Erik)
All of this felt far too easy and cold. No one had seemed to question their movements or even looked too hard at them once Moira showed who she was. Apparently the CIA had very good networks, it was easy to trace which ones were agents, their paranoia was a thrum throughout all their thoughts.

They kept out of the way of the military. Instead it was all about getting there so they could do something, Erik needed that.

They were flown in close and there was a truck when there was the first moment of trouble as soldiers waited outside. It was up to him to keep them safe by projecting an image of an empty truck before they could pass on. After that it was a cold wait in the bushes in front of a mansion that he could be dropped into the Hudson Valley without a problem.

Then it all fell apart as Erik ran for the house, twisting guns and fences and leaving pain in his wake. He had to fix what he could, soothe the pain and not let Erik lose himself in his anger. Inside they found her, the other telepath with diamond shields playing with the general. The man looked like a fool thinking he was having sex with an illusion as she watched bored, it was a stupid use of such power.

But then Erik torturing her to the point of cracking her diamond skin was just as bad. Yes, it made her release her shields enough that he could see, but Erik acted as badly as she did.

She was a prisoner now, which was something and they had enough information to possibly act when they returned. It wasn't going to be a pleasant journey back.
balancingminds: (half face listening)
After this. In the morning, they meet up with Angel and send her on her way to DC with a train ticket and the news that Moira and possibly Raven will meet her at the train station. There had been time to give them a call and arrange it all before Charles picked up a car to get to them to where Alex Summers is being held.

Moira and Agent Black have provided a few ways in, but it all depends on if they can convince Alex that he'll be safe with them. Charles isn't looking forward to going into a prison but this is what they need to do.
balancingminds: (soft smile)
The compartment isn't as elegant as the ones in Europe but it will do and Charles has found them a comfortable one to get north.

There's space enough for them both to stretch out and since its not a heavy time, they have a measure of privacy, and the club car's not far away.
balancingminds: (side glance)
His room is unchanged, there's a fire, two comfortable chairs, a chess set, dark woods, a bottle of Scotch and the coziness that reminds Charles of New York.

Inside he steps in to lean against a back of a chair, he's always aware of the space between his body and Erik's and even though they have now been closer than before, he knows that it might not last.

He reaches up to adjust the cravat and looks over to Erik.
balancingminds: (unsettled)
When the spell was broken, Charles went up to his room to think. He had come back to Milliways to tell Iris what happened and then this.

Loneliness is a terrible thing, and I would not wish it on you. Jean had said that and in that one conversation seen inside him in a way few ever had.

He was lonely, that was why he clung so to Raven and wouldn't let Erik go; he needed them and they needed each other. Erik was even starting to open up. And in this week, he had lived once more that life of loneliness and fear where he worried that he would chase anyone who was nice to him away because he said the wrong thing. Only two had turned from him, Noriko who only saw a strange rich boy and Autor who was scared though he acted as if he wasn't. There had been kindness and understanding, he would find ways to bring some of the openness of Milliways into his world.

With a quick breath, he stood up and went to the sink to splash some water on his face. He couldn't dwell too much on this week until he told Iris about what had happened before. The only way to move forward with the past and the present was with honesty.

Iris, how could he explain to her what he had done? Just the memory of that kiss and how Erik had reached for him made his heart beat faster. He wanted that but by that wanting, he betrayed Iris who he had brought onto a different path. The Fates had said You ask complicated questions. Now he had many going through his mind and it wasn't his place to answer, now he must speak the truth and take what followed.

It had been a kiss but more than that, it was a beginning, because Erik balanced him. She saw within him and he couldn't lie to her and wouldn't ask anything of her. He had acted without thinking and now would pay the price for it.
balancingminds: (what now?)
Charles is tired and everyone at the Facility is feeling a bit too close. Cerebro is at the point where they can start finding and meeting other mutants which he should be celebrating but he's not ready yet.

Dealing with Javert in Milliways and wondering if everything will come together has left him tired of selling what he believes. He goes up to the roof to watch the sun go down, there's some space up here.
balancingminds: (with chess and a drink)
Charles hasn't been able to find a door but he did find a rather beat up chess set in one of the staff rooms. The board's set up with a problem that he came across in a paper and he's trying to play through it to distract himself from mainly Erik.

He is concerned about getting Cerebro to work properly and Iris but his thoughts keep coming back to Erik, and chess has always been a type of meditation for him. He can focus on the tactics and variations as chess pieces don't have feelings.
balancingminds: (new york cup of tea)
Somehow after the discussion with Erik, Charles managed to sleep though his dreams were complicated and vivid as he thought of Erik's touch.

He woke early and went to make himself a strong cup of coffee in the kitchen, his hair wet from the shower and his shirt not fully buttoned.

The past few days have been so full, he wonders what's to come next.

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Charles Xavier

July 2017

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