balancingminds | (no subject)

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jason todd

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Charles' room reflects the home where he grew up in Westchester, dark woods and colors, a fireplace and a chess board surrounded by two comfortable chairs.

As they enter, he goes to pour a drink for himself and Jay before sitting down by the board, "Black or white?"

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"Depends on what you wanted it for." Jay concentrates on the board for a moment before making his move. He's doing better this time.
"Riding to clear your head when you needed some time alone - then it would be something with a good sounding engine and a pleasure to ride with excellent mileage on the fuel. A Vincent perhaps."

If it was for getting to other mutants who might need your help in a hurry - then something fast but stable; a big tourer perhaps - able to take a pillion passenger comfortably and plenty of storage for any gear you might need. The new BMW's nice but you'd need something that didn't stand out too much in your time."

"I can see the logic of both of those though I've never ridden a motorcycle. Its not something I've had a chance to do yet."

Jay chuckles. "Riding lessons first then. Then you can decide if it's something you want. Not everyone takes to bikes. Come down to the garage some time and I'll take you out for a ride."

"I'd like that as it would be a useful skill to have."

"So would being about to beat you at chess but clearly it's a skill I don't have." Jay eyes the board, tracking out future moves. "Looks like you've get me in mate in three moves."

"Two moves actually and you'll get better. You're a good opponent as you know how to change your style,"

He gestures to a few pieces to show how he gets to mate.

Jay curses warmly as Charles points out the attack he missed. "Damn. You're good. Clearly I need to play more often." It's been four years since he played against Alfred and it still hurts.

"I've had a lot of years of doing this and chess puzzles in the newspaper. We'll go back and forth, chess games and you teaching me about bikes in between talking of everything else. Since I know your mind, Jay, you can be good at this if you want to be,"

It would be fascinating and possibly a horribly bad idea to have Jay and Erik meet as they're so alike, but what a meeting.

"I like that idea." Jay smiles warmly. If you don't mind putting up with my neuroses in the meantime.

Jay would love to meet Erik but there may well be sparks. Or two of a kind both fluffed up like tom-cats, trying to make themselves bigger.

"You're here because I want to teach you to live with everything that's within your mind. And I enjoy being around you. Another game or would you rather tell me more about what's in your head?"

"Another game." Jay's not ready to go back into the darkness in his head. "I want to see if I can come closer to not getting my ass kicked."

"I know you can. Alfred taught you well,"

Charles spins the board and refills their glasses.

Of all the things I fear, Jay thinks, almost to himself as he resets the board. It's that Alfred would be ashamed of who I've become. In Talia's service he's been an assassin, a killer and a thug. Even if he's held to his own code in his own way.

Jay, life hasn't made it easy for you, but I can see the heart of you and he wouldn't be.

Charles reaches out across the board and gently touches Jay's arm.

Edited 2014-04-22 04:12 (UTC)

Jay turns his arm under Charles' touch, tangling their fingers for a moment. Bruce will never forgive me and I can live with that. Dick... won't trust me or look at me the same if he knew how many people I've killed. But Alfred... Alfred matters. I couldn't bear it if Alfred hated.

Jay, from what I've seen, he's known your journey. Yes, you've been angry, anger's a way to face all that's happened. He raised Bruce, trust him to love and not shift easily. My Nanny was like, she saw more than I meant to show.

He shares a memory of waking from a nightmare of the trenches, scared and frightened, spilling words and thoughts, his Nanny held him and told him that it was all a dream. She didn't care that it wasn't his dream, it was a nightmare and could be put into the darkness of the night.

Jay smiles softly at the memory. "She loved you. Even knowing more about you than you wanted her to know, she loved you. I hope..." His voice falters. I hope you're right about Alfred.

He plays slower this time. Much more considered. More like Bruce.

From what you've shown me, he's someone who loves and gives.

Charles watches his game and shifts his own to reflect it.

More than we deserve.

He hates having to think like Bruce, using the strategies and control he learned under the Dark Knight's tutelage. He plays with Bruce's hard edge.

That's how love and compassion work. Chess pieces aren't people.

That was a complicated lesson for him as he saw people in the pawns but knowing the pawns versus the people matters.

Jay coughs a laugh, bitter and hurt. I wish someone told Bruce that. I try... I try not to be like him.

"You're not, Jay. You're you,"

He hates to hear that hurt in his voice.

Jay sighs. "Yes, but who am I? I have Bruce's hardness, Talia's ruthlessness, Willis' reckless nature. But I'm none of those things and all of them."

"Because you're not any of them, you're Jason Todd. And yes, you have been changed by them, but the person you are is you. I know I'm saying that a good deal but only because it matters. Jason Todd is Jason Todd, he has been changed and influenced by the people he's known but he is who he makes himself. A man who can design motorcycles around a person and play chess. Who has truly unfair lips as I'm taken and who I worry for as I see him court danger."

The last comment makes him smile. He reaches for Charles' hand and brings it to his lips, kissing Charles' knuckles lightly. "Thank you."