(no subject)

[balancingminds]

Charles' room reflects the home where he grew up in Westchester, dark woods and colors, a fireplace and a chess board surrounded by two comfortable chairs.

As they enter, he goes to pour a drink for himself and Jay before sitting down by the board, "Black or white?"

Comments

[balancingminds]

"You're here because I want to teach you to live with everything that's within your mind. And I enjoy being around you. Another game or would you rather tell me more about what's in your head?"

[runningred]

"Another game." Jay's not ready to go back into the darkness in his head. "I want to see if I can come closer to not getting my ass kicked."

[balancingminds]

"I know you can. Alfred taught you well,"

Charles spins the board and refills their glasses.

[runningred]

Of all the things I fear, Jay thinks, almost to himself as he resets the board. It's that Alfred would be ashamed of who I've become. In Talia's service he's been an assassin, a killer and a thug. Even if he's held to his own code in his own way.

[balancingminds]

Jay, life hasn't made it easy for you, but I can see the heart of you and he wouldn't be.

Charles reaches out across the board and gently touches Jay's arm.

[runningred]

Jay turns his arm under Charles' touch, tangling their fingers for a moment. Bruce will never forgive me and I can live with that. Dick... won't trust me or look at me the same if he knew how many people I've killed. But Alfred... Alfred matters. I couldn't bear it if Alfred hated.

[balancingminds]

Jay, from what I've seen, he's known your journey. Yes, you've been angry, anger's a way to face all that's happened. He raised Bruce, trust him to love and not shift easily. My Nanny was like, she saw more than I meant to show.

He shares a memory of waking from a nightmare of the trenches, scared and frightened, spilling words and thoughts, his Nanny held him and told him that it was all a dream. She didn't care that it wasn't his dream, it was a nightmare and could be put into the darkness of the night.

[runningred]

Jay smiles softly at the memory. "She loved you. Even knowing more about you than you wanted her to know, she loved you. I hope..." His voice falters. I hope you're right about Alfred.

He plays slower this time. Much more considered. More like Bruce.

[balancingminds]

From what you've shown me, he's someone who loves and gives.

Charles watches his game and shifts his own to reflect it.

[runningred]

More than we deserve.

He hates having to think like Bruce, using the strategies and control he learned under the Dark Knight's tutelage. He plays with Bruce's hard edge.

[balancingminds]

That's how love and compassion work. Chess pieces aren't people.

That was a complicated lesson for him as he saw people in the pawns but knowing the pawns versus the people matters.

[runningred]

Jay coughs a laugh, bitter and hurt. I wish someone told Bruce that. I try... I try not to be like him.

[balancingminds]

"You're not, Jay. You're you,"

He hates to hear that hurt in his voice.

[runningred]

Jay sighs. "Yes, but who am I? I have Bruce's hardness, Talia's ruthlessness, Willis' reckless nature. But I'm none of those things and all of them."

[balancingminds]

"Because you're not any of them, you're Jason Todd. And yes, you have been changed by them, but the person you are is you. I know I'm saying that a good deal but only because it matters. Jason Todd is Jason Todd, he has been changed and influenced by the people he's known but he is who he makes himself. A man who can design motorcycles around a person and play chess. Who has truly unfair lips as I'm taken and who I worry for as I see him court danger."

[runningred]

The last comment makes him smile. He reaches for Charles' hand and brings it to his lips, kissing Charles' knuckles lightly. "Thank you."

[balancingminds]

"You're welcome, just remember that because I don't say things I don't mean."

[runningred]

Jay smiles and goes back to the game, trying really hard to come closer to beating Charles this time.

[balancingminds]

(OOC: Fade here? Should I post or do you want to?)

He comes closer this time and Charles gives him a few suggestions to improve.

[runningred]

{ooc: fade works for me. Thank you! I'm more than happy for you to post it.}