Lesson with Alanna

[balancingminds]

Charles isn't quite certain of what to expect from his lesson with Alan as their last meeting was complicated.

Sallie and Tyler both had good senses of what they knew and what they were hoping to get while Alan seemed more fearful and uncertain along with armed and angry.

The note wasn't too specific about time, so he has a mug of tea and a one of his scientific journals to read.

Comments

[balancingminds]

As soon as she starts to panic, Charles pulls out of her mind and watches her,

"I know, but you need to know what you can stop. You're doing incredibly well."

[the_lioness]

For all she hates having him in her mind, she likes that he doesn't push her. Alanna nods and slowly turns to face him.

"Again."

It's easier this time to pull everything into place. What she doesn't expect is to think about the Ordeal.

The big, black door to the Chamber.

That thick, impenetrable door.

It's helpful, even as the mere thought of the Ordeal lets fear slip in aside her determination.

[balancingminds]

Her fear is unexpected especially as it doesn't seem to be for him and he keeps his mental touch light as he asks,

"Where does that door lead?"

[the_lioness]

"The Chamber of the Ordeal," she murmurs, almost as if she is in a trance. "I'll enter it when I'm eighteen. Either I'll win my shield or die trying."

Or worse.

Jon still has nightmares, and he succeeded.

[balancingminds]

"I see, thank you. So you still have three years before you'll face it? Don't let that worry take over your thoughts. Anxiety can sneak up on you and make you vulnerable,"

It's something Charles works around as he's constantly around students who are worrying.

[the_lioness]

"Three years."

She is both dreading the day and wishing it was already over.

"I know," she almost snaps. Then, more softly, "It's always on my mind these days."

[balancingminds]

"Why? What's keeping it so present for you?"

As maybe if he can help her with that reason, other things will come a little easier.

[the_lioness]

"Most of my friends had their Ordeals recently."


It isn't something you forget, even if all you see is the outside of the door.

[balancingminds]

"That makes sense. Did most of them make it through?"

[the_lioness]

"They did."

Alanna doesn't know what she would have done had any of her friends failed.

"But not without scars."

[balancingminds]

"Scars are a sign of making it through,"

Most of his scars are inside, reminders of minds he's come across and things he's had to learn to keep himself from.

[the_lioness]

In the future, Alanna will have many scars. As of yet there are few.

"Not all are physical," she notes, voice heavy with dread. "They have nightmares."

[balancingminds]

"They tend to follow after something hard. I grew up during a war and sometimes still have nightmares about being attacked,"

Though he also ends up in other people's nightmares and those frighten him far more than any of his dreams.

[the_lioness]

"A war?" It's quiet, delivered with added respect. "What happened?"

[balancingminds]

"Most of it happened in Europe, which is across the ocean from my home but everyone knew someone fighting. It started with politics and it didn't end until too many people died. Its called the second world war. I was still a boy during most of it and everyone was afraid,"

At that age he didn't understand all of what caused the war but he felt the fear of those around him.

[the_lioness]

"A world war?" Alanna breathes. And the second one besides. "Border disputes or something more?"

It is relevant to her interests. Tusaine's king has been making a lot of noise lately.

[balancingminds]

"Far more than just border disputes though that's how it started and the one that happened thirty years before. Due to everyone's alliances, it didn't end there as all the country's leaders asked for help or called for help as there were invasions and worse."

[the_lioness]

"Your world sounds... contentious," she frowns. "How bad was it for the populace? Ordinary citizens, who weren't on the battlefield."

[balancingminds]

"That's a good word for it and for many people, quite horrible. No one came out of it unscathed and most of the armies were made up of ordinary citizens. Some that volunteered and others that were called up to fight."

[the_lioness]

"Forced?" she asks, wanting that clarification. "Goddess."

Alanna scowls down at her boots. For some reason, the sight of them -- expensive leather, scuffed but relatively unscarred -- seems to offend her in that moment.

Or perhaps she thinks she needs to earn a few scars of her own.

"I hope my world never sees the like."

[balancingminds]

"Drafted, most of those who were called up to fight were glad to go. There were volunteers throughout the war as everyone knew that it was truly everyone's war. I hope not either, it was frightening,"

It changed the feel of the world and the politics and is still shaping everything in Charles' time.

[the_lioness]

"Who did you know?" She asks quietly. "Who fought."

Who did you lose? is the real question.

[balancingminds]

"All the men and boys who were old enough, many of the ones who had come over from England went back to fight. The house always felt much bigger and quieter during the war,"

There were fewer minds and more worries, he was glad when Raven found her way there. She helped to fill the space.

[the_lioness]

"The house?"

Alanna grasps on to that in an attempt not to imagine the devastation. It hurts to think about her friends in similar circumstances.

[balancingminds]

"My family owns a rather large estate with many servants to work inside and outside. During the war all of those of age left or had family who did. I was eight when the war ended and the house always seemed emptier and a little scarier without them all around,"

It made it easier to find people but everyone who remained was full of fears and sometimes awful nightmares and memories.