A night in

[balancingminds]

"Raven!" Charles yelled as he entered the flat, just managing to close the door and not drop anything.

Tonight he was holding slightly more than usual as he'd just been gifted a bottle of wonderful booze and the only person he was going to drink it with was Raven.

Comments

[balancingminds]

"Then try and I'll do it. Just tell me when,"

Though first he has to set his glass down because if he's going to block her out, he'll need to use his hand to focus.

[andproud]

"Well, I didn't know you were actually going to try."

She feigns a pout, crouching over him, but there's a part of her that's already allowing her overall ease to slip forth, relaxed and running a little hotter than normally.

[balancingminds]

"It's a challenge and an experiment,"

Clearly that's more than enough reason to and he focuses on pulling his walls up, but it takes time. He has to focus more on each one. When she crouches over him, he tries to steady her with the hand that's not on his temple.

[andproud]

"Any luck?"

He looks so intent on concentrating that she almost hates to break it - and yet, a part of her wants to, albeit teasingly, just to openly gloat later on.

And then she wonders if she should try to distract him, although that would be playing dirty.

Not that that's ever stopped her.

[balancingminds]

"I don't know. Are you thinking at me?"

He's a little lost as its easier to try and reach out than close off. Though his shields are all up but the outer one that he rarely uses isn't terribly solid.

[andproud]

"Yes."

Her voice is soft, but her thoughts are anything but, and the alcohol's racing through her bloodstream as she zeroes in on eyeing little details: the long index finger pressed to his temple, the open collar of his shirt and the way it opens further with his breathing.

She averts her gaze. Too dangerous. Too dangerous.

[balancingminds]

Her thoughts aren't easy to hold onto and he has to remind himself to not listen and he finally shakes his head and then holds it as he briefly considers his hand,

"Too much to drink for that. I don't like not listening though I don't listen to you, but still. Hand helps me to focus, it always has."

[andproud]

She very nearly breathes a sigh of relief, and shifts, until she's perched by his side as the blonde again.

She's almost afraid to ask what he saw, or if he'd even be honest and tell her if he has.

[balancingminds]

He frowns at her shift and leans against her, "Hey, don't look worried. You tell me to stay out and I do."

[andproud]

She's torn, conflicted. The drinks are making all her thoughts bleed together, impossible to sift through.

She doesn't like him in her head, and yet -

(you know, don't you, how could you not know)

"What's in your head?" she asks, faintly, pressing her two fingers to the place where his were resting before.

[balancingminds]

"Worry, don't like seeing you unhappy and um, things feel a little blurred. I know where I end but feel like I might be leaking, which I shouldn't do. Still better than other people blurring into me, that's not good, no one else's dreams,"

As he talks, he takes his time, pulling his mind as together as he can and trying to figure out why her thinking about his hand should make her unhappy.

[andproud]

"I'm not unhappy," she insists, her fingertips tracing the slight angle of his temple, next to his eyebrow.

And maybe more of him needs to be blurring into her. He's the better one; he's just so good. She's always wanted to be more like that.

She licks her lips, tastes weaker remnants of the ouzo.

[balancingminds]

"But you're not as happy as you were. You changed when you didn't have to,"

He taps her lips as he wants her to smile again and she doesn't have to shift around him.

[andproud]

"I just want to be - "

She can't find the words for what she wants, and her breath catches slightly at the touch to her mouth, lips pursing subtly against the brush of his fingers.

[balancingminds]

He doesn't like when she drops the end of her sentence like that and he moves to brush her hair back trying to read her without reading her,

"Be what?"

This is a feeling he hates when there's something that he should know but he just can't figure it out. Especially when its Raven who he should know better than anyone but sometimes he feels like he doesn't and that feels like a betrayal of her.

[andproud]

There are so many words she wants to use to fill the gap, all of which race through her head - (normal ordinary yours wanted normal)

Unconsciously, she tilts her head into the movement of his fingers, the touch feeling like more than it should with her skin humming from the ouzo.

[balancingminds]

When she doesn't answer and he's not listening and he won't, he promised, he sighs.

He feels blurry and useless and pulls her into a hug,

"I want to fix what I can for you. Make the world better for us. I'm sorry that I can't get it right."

[andproud]

The world might not be better, but hers is just from having known him. Just from being given a place to go after they'd first met.

She wraps her arms around him, pulling him into a tighter hug, her chin nestled against his shoulder, her cheek resting against his.

"It's not your fault."

It's mine.

[balancingminds]

"Still should be able to fix it," He murmurs into her hair.

[andproud]

"You always want to fix everything," she whispers, pulling back to look at him as the pale of her skin gives way to blue, blonde hair unfurling into red.

She presses a kiss to the edge of his mouth and rises, slipping out of his hold.

"Some things can't be fixed."

[balancingminds]

When she gets up, he pulls his legs up and holds them, feeling tired and vulnerable,

"I hate how that's true. I don't want it to be."

[andproud]

"It's because you're so good," she murmurs, looking at him with sad affection.

If only they both were.

[balancingminds]

He tries to meet her gaze as he sighs,

"I'm me. Good is for King Arthur and wise men from stories."

[andproud]

"And you," she insists, her hand bearing her weight as she leans over him to press a small kiss to his forehead.

"Goodnight, Charles."

[balancingminds]

He watches her go before sighing once more and stretching out on the couch.

His bed feels too far away at the moment and moving requires more thinking.