(no subject)

[balancingminds]

Somehow after the discussion with Erik, Charles managed to sleep though his dreams were complicated and vivid as he thought of Erik's touch.

He woke early and went to make himself a strong cup of coffee in the kitchen, his hair wet from the shower and his shirt not fully buttoned.

The past few days have been so full, he wonders what's to come next.

Comments

[markedformore]

It's terrifying. It's utterly terrifying and he has the horror of wanting it at the same time as it makes him quite afraid. "Then, what would you have me do?" he asks, a tremble in his normally-strong voice.

[balancingminds]

The question gets a little laugh from Charles before he starts to kiss Erik's neck where his shirt isn't buttoned.

Stop thinking and act.

[markedformore]

It is a frightening request of a man like Erik, who has spent the last twenty years thinking before he acts because he does not want to ruin the plan he has for Schmidt. Still, with Charles' kisses along his neck, he finds that he cannot find the will in him to think and not act, so he grabs Charles by the upper arm and spins him, rolls him, intending to act with his knees in a vice grip around Charles' hips.

[balancingminds]

Charles gasps as the movement is unexpected and almost painful.

[markedformore]

Erik settles into the straddle, loosening the way his knees fall around Charles' hips as he slides his way down, close enough to steal many a kiss from him, teasing and pushing light nudges of his nose against Charles' temples. "I like it when you make those sounds."

[balancingminds]

"I like making them,"

He doesn't know where the next kiss will be and groans at the combination of being straddled and gentle kisses.

[markedformore]

Well, if ever there were incentive to continue what he's doing, that may be it, precisely. Erik grabs at Charles' chin to hold him still (though not too firmly) so that he can press a blisteringly desperate kiss to his lips, nipping at his lower lip and trying to take and take whatever he can.

[balancingminds]

The kiss is what he's been hoping for and Charles groans as he clutches at Erik, his desire slipping through his shields.

[markedformore]

It's like a tidal wave cresting over him, making him feel utterly at unrest, overpowered. He breathes in and out raggedly, kissing Charles harder and a wanton noise escapes him, something he would not let out otherwise, given his strict control of himself.

[balancingminds]

Sorry.

He tries to correct his shields but he wants more of those sounds from Erik and manages to get his hand on Erik's waist. Not on skin yet as there's still shirt and undershirt but closer.

[markedformore]

"You're not," Erik accuses, feeling like he's quite confident in that fact. He huffs mildly and shakes his head, breathing shakily as he shifts his body enough to slip Charles' fingers underneath his shirt. "This is hardly sleeping," he points out wryly.

[balancingminds]

"I'm trying not to let too much slip out. No, but there's time for sleep,"

Charles smiles and moves his hand over Erik's back, finding the long line of his spine and tracing it before leaning up into another kiss.

[markedformore]

Erik sinks into that kiss, feeling as if his body is melting forward with such abandon and great careless weariness that he wants to do nothing but kiss Charles for hours and hours. It is dangerous here, yet, because he wants to do nothing but this.

Again, he reminds himself of his true purpose and draws back. "You're practically a devil," he hisses, laving his lower lip with his tongue.

[balancingminds]

"Because I'm distracting you? We're out of time here, there will be work and duties and projects enough to keep us busy on the other side of the door,"

Yes, they probably should go back as Erik is rested now but he doesn't want to. He doesn't know when Erik will next trust enough to enjoy himself or choose to leave.

[markedformore]

"There are other reasons why we shouldn't be doing this, Charles," Erik says roughly, his whole body and countenance and mind affected by what Charles does to him and he's not entirely sure he wholly approves of such things. "You know very well that I'm a broken man."

[balancingminds]

"No, I know you think of yourself as broken, that's not the same. I don't think you're broken. I think you're hurting and have been for a long time but not in pieces,"

Broken isn't a word that he would ever put on another person, it isn't right.

[markedformore]

"Then you haven't looked deeply enough to see how Shaw took me apart," he accuses, rather sharply given how they have been doing enough to soften him. Still, he knows that he is a monster that was made in the image of his terrifying creator. "You're soft, Charles. Don't you want some schoolmarm? Someone warm and safe?"

[balancingminds]

"No, I have seen and I don't consider you broken," At the soft comment, he sighs as he's been called that most of his life.

Compassion isn't weakness, "No, I don't."

[markedformore]

"Then you're an idiot, Charles." He's never been hesitant to sling accusations before and he's not about to start now, especially given his belief in what he's saying. "You, of all people, ought to be able to see inside my mind and see what I'm capable of."

[balancingminds]

"Yes, and I know what you've done as well. You've found a way to put yourself back together at the moment its for revenge but that's not all of you. Much of who we are is decided by what we're born with, then others tell us who we should be and we become who we are. It take time and we're constantly deciding which voice to listen to. I've seen what's within you and how you show yourself to the world and I want you. But if at the moment all I am is an idiot to you then let me sleep and we can talk again later,"

He will keep saying this and showing Erik all that he sees within him, but it's tiring especially when they seemed as if they might get lost in good feelings. So he lays back down on the bed, puts up his shields and goes to sleep. When he wakes up he'll go downstairs as he has no idea how much time has passed here since he was in Oxford.