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[balancingminds]

The shadows keep moving, he has on all the lights but he can't make the shadows stop. He looks up, there was a ship and a sky, but they're gone. Is he truly awake? Lights don't mean anything, he can create lights in a dream, he looks down to find he's not dressed. Perhaps he was asleep then, that would be good. He needs to be able to sleep and then wake up once more.

Carefully he dresses, focusing on the texture of each piece of clothing so he doesn't hear all the thoughts and feel all the emotions. They're very close, people are scared and angry and something's hungry. His shirt is starched, the cloth smooth between his fingers as he buttons all but the last two buttons at his collar. Then the cuff links with the Xavier crest, he presses his finger against one of the Xs until the pressure hurts. Sweater next, soft cashmere that's light as he slips it over his head and adjusts it to fall just so. Then his jacket, heavy tweed that he bought in Dublin, a jacket for a tutor at Oxford, he traces the weave noting the threads of blue interspersed with the grey. He chose this one because it looked best with his eyes, Raven approved of the ever so slightly wider lapels, not as modern as he could be but a step forward.

This is reality, this is all real. He starts coughing, feeling every shudder through his body.

Comments

[balancingminds]

There are shadows and he traces a symbol on the banister,

"I'm awake and this is real."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"We're both awake and this is real. You're going to be all right."
He has to be.

[balancingminds]

He wants to believe her, she believes what she's saying and he starts towards the door.

If he just goes forward and opens it then everything will get better.

[itrunsinthefamily]

Red keeps pace with him. "See? It's not that far at all."

[balancingminds]

"No, it isn't and I think there's a door."

[itrunsinthefamily]

Red grins. "Good! Good. You'll be able to go home and get away from all this."

[balancingminds]

Charles reaches for where the handle should be but there's nothing there. Did he imagine it?

He closes his eyes and reaches out, but there's no handle just many thoughts on the door.

Worries and hopes concentrated on it from all directions and he rests his head on the wall, "Make them be quiet."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"Charles?"
She... sees a door three feet to his right, but is this one of those things where it shows up in a different place for different people? Does that happen at all?
(Unfortunately, she can't do anything about what he's hearing.)

[balancingminds]

"It's there but not. I can't do this much longer, I'll start leaking,"

He has to keep in his own mind.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"...Okay. I don't. Do you want to go back upstairs?"
She's running out of options, and she doesn't like it. She just wants to make it better.

[balancingminds]

"They'll get me. I'm not mad,"

The voices are growing louder, too many fears. He opens his eyes and looks at her, Red's real.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"No, you're not. No one's going to get you, Charles."
She's real, but she's starting to think she's out of her depth here. That's not good.

[balancingminds]

"But they're all talking and I'll say the wrong thing. I shouldn't be here,"

He'll break something or someone and he can't do that. It's his job to keep together for everyone else, but he can't seem to do that. Instead he's falling apart and he shouldn't be here.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"Breathe, Charles. You're panicking."
Not that she can entirely blame him, but that's not going to help here.

[balancingminds]

"No, I have to get out of here,"

If he closes his eyes and holds what's left of his shields then he can get outside.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"There's a door three feet away from you. Try that?"
Desperate times call for... well, mentioning something she's not sure if he can even see. But she sees it, and if it's not there for him she's already apologising in her head.

[balancingminds]

"It's yours, I don't fit there,"

She can see it but he's not going to look, it's too dangerous. He turns around and starts towards the back door, it will be quieter.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"Charles! Is going out back even going to help?"
She remembers how she found him the other day, is all.

[balancingminds]

"I need to get away,"

That's what matters and he keeps moving.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"Given how badly off you were the other night, I wouldn't call it away."
She keeps pace with him as best she can - which, it must be admitted, is pretty good.

[balancingminds]

He makes it out the back door, which helps a little. The world is quieter but not enough, but few places are safe.

There's a rock, he meditated with Splinter, that was safe, he heads there.

[itrunsinthefamily]

There's still a smell of wrongness coming from the woods. To say nothing of-- when did that building even - on second thought, she's probably better off not asking.
"Are you sure about this, Charles?"

[balancingminds]

Her concern presses on him and he holds his head as he makes it to the rock,

"It's still too loud."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"I can't stop that for you. I'm sorry."
She really is. She thought the front door would help, if it were there.

[balancingminds]

He sits down and tries to shore up his shields but they don't feel strong enough.