After Slenderman

[balancingminds]

Charles hasn't been ready to return to the CIA and the work at Cerebro yet, he knows he needs to take the time to process what happened in October. The only problem is that its hard to begin, he knows all the advice he would give to someone else in his position but that's not enough.

He's mainly been avoiding the main Bar as the press of minds verges on too much and whenever he's around them, he remembers feeling out of control and the fear of hurting people.

Instead he stays in his room reading or something walks outside to try and meditate and try to find the stillness of the world.

He never goes too far without letting Raven know where she can find him as he doesn't want to worry her again. All he wants is to find his center once more.

Comments

[itrunsinthefamily]

"It fed on your worst fears," Red says quietly.
She's lucky that thing didn't get to her more, and she knows it - but she's very glad of that.

[balancingminds]

"Yes and I succumbed to them."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"How much choice did you really have in that, though? From everything you said and everything I saw, that was one powerful... whatever it was. It isn't your fault that it got to you."
No more than what she did before she knew about the curse was, strictly speaking, her fault. You can't control what you don't know about.

[balancingminds]

"I know and I keep reminding myself of that but intellect and emotion don't always work together. Do you know how the others who were affected are doing? There were so many people in the infirmary and when the hospital disappeared," Slenderman's reach was great.

[itrunsinthefamily]

Red shakes her head. "I'm afraid I don't know. I went home after I knew you were all right; I haven't been in much since then."
She needed some time to process what Peter told her. And... she's starting to think it's hitting home.

[balancingminds]

"I understand. Your dream sounded powerful. Will you tell me what you've been thinking about?"

Listening and helping is easier and he's begun to talk, that's progress.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"I think..." Red hesitates for a moment, trying to sort out just what it is she wants to say.
"I think if Peter doesn't blame me... it's not really fair to keep blaming myself. It's a curse, so it's not my fault that it happens at all, and you can't control what you don't even know is happening. If it's anyone's fault, it's Granny's - she should have told me what was going on instead of just throwing a cloak over the problem and hoping for the best. But it's not really her fault either."
She saw a way to try to keep her granddaughter from suffering, and took that option. For all she knew, Red would never question it.

[balancingminds]

"She was trying to protect you by keeping you ignorant instead of trusting you. I've had times when I've done that with my sister but she's good at reminding me that she knows what she's doing. I'm glad you're accepting and growing from what happened."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"If I don't try to move forward, it'll eat me alive. So to speak." She doesn't quite smile at the joke, but she does at least acknowledge to herself that it is one.
"And I know there might be a time that it's the only weapon I have to hand, or at least the best one. If I need to use it, I don't want to hurt anyone else I care about."

[balancingminds]

"You've already begun to learn and every moon will be easier. You're far stronger than you realize, Red. Trusting yourself isn't always simple, but it changes everything."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"I still don't know if I'd call it strength. But I can't give in, and I can't keep ignoring it."
There has to be a middle road. There has to be a way she can use this to her advantage and not hate herself for it.

[balancingminds]

"It is strength to face what you fear and don't understand. Don't underestimate yourself, Red. I haven't and Peter didn't either."

[itrunsinthefamily]

Red shrugs. "I just know there has to be a way to work with it, instead of letting it control me or running as far away as I can get."
She suspects her grandmother isn't going to understand, but she doesn't have to. Red's going to find her own way forward on this one.

[balancingminds]

"It won't be easy but you're not alone and in time your grandmother will understand. She will simply have to learn to see you as you are instead of what she fears. If I can help convince her then I will."

[itrunsinthefamily]

Red smiles. "First I'll need to go home. And I - think I'm closer to being able to have the conversation, now, but it's not time yet."
Mary still needs her, and she's hoping to learn all of Mary's story (whether it's what she thinks it is or not) before they part company.

[balancingminds]

"You'll know when it's right. Too often we discount our instincts when they're usually right,"

That's why he trusts Erik as he does, he knows they can change everything for mutant kind together. It won't be simple but he knows how rare meeting some who complements him as Erik does is.

[itrunsinthefamily]

"I know. But when the time comes, I'll be far less likely to get unbearably upset."
Whether she got angry or hit by a wave of grief, it wouldn't help matters.

[balancingminds]

"Yes and I think you will find it a great relief. Truth has a way of lightening the world"

[itrunsinthefamily]

"I suppose it does."
She just wants to be able to get through the conversation without either of them being too upset to address what they need to.

[balancingminds]

"She might surprise you and find it a relief to know you have everything under control. But don't worry too much now, work on getting more control then telling her."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"I'm trying to." Oddly, she's found everything a little easier to handle since she had that dream about Peter.
"And you make sure you're taking care of yourself."

[balancingminds]

"I am, I'm sleeping and taking my time readjusting to being around people. Between you and Raven, I'm well looked after."

[itrunsinthefamily]

"Good. We'll get you back on the horse yet, you'll see."

[balancingminds]

"Yes, you will," He doesn't like being a burden but its to be looked after.